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things too stupid to say out loud

by: me

Lou Lou
19 September 1988
External Services:
  • lyndzaloo@livejournal.com
I don't know quite what to say. If I was dead my obituary wouldn't be very intresting either. Or maybe it is. Maybe it would say something like: Smart, young girl dies from losing hope in humanity. Found with knife in back. Was a hard worker who ran track and cross country. Always wanted to be no.1 in everything she did, no matter what. Though she seemed crazy and somewhat normal on the outside, she kept evrything that defined who she was trapped inside herself. After she was sexually assulted by a close friend in the Navy (bastard), her first love left her. Not believing that she had almost been raped by a close friend. She then went through a bout of suicide attempts and self-injury. And to top it all off...she had also been sexually abused by a close friend when she was little. But she never let it interfere with the rest of her life. Oh, and lets not forget, she was bisexual. Because that just helps everything. She couldn't let anyone know because she lived in a red neck town where people would hang her if they knew. Near the end of her short life she struggled day to day with back-stabbing, hypocritcal friends, and guys who just couldn't seem to ever tell the truth. People who, without fail, always left her wondering what was wrong with her. - Yeah that sounds about right. Please don't judge me. I don't want it to seem like I'm whining about all the shit I've been through. These are the facts and I just want people to know the truth. I'm really just some random kid who has rejoiced and suffered in life's curve balls. Though I am still waiting for that rejoicing part. HA HA HA.